AP Squared: Advanced Placement Amulets of Power

You might have noticed I was AWOL last week, and I have an extremely short explanation to account for this. Here it is: AP tests.
During the two-week AP testing season, I was rendered unable to do much of...anything, really. In truth, by the time you return from a four-hour testing ordeal on top of a half day of normal school, your brain is essentially liquefied. And that doesn't even account for lifeguard training, National Honor Society service hours or the other things I've been occupied with of late. Simply put, testing survival mode entails meticulous preparation, semi-superstitious rituals, suspension of non-vital tasks and quite a bit of pencil sharpening, culminating in a fit of catatonic post-test trauma.

Thankfully, I survived. I think. It is possible that I'm writing this post-mortem, but not likely; I mean, I've heard of ghost writers, but I don't think that's what the term is supposed to mean.
I took three AP tests this year, which is the most I've done, but only about average at my school. I truly feel sorry for the students in the IB program. One of my IB friends had seventeen tests this year, so I suppose I should count myself lucky with three. These were English Literature and Composition, United States Government and Politics and Statistics.

Of these, the first two were simultaneously the most important and the least stressful, which is a good thing. Stats was a source of incredible stress until I realized the credit will not actually help much in my planned major, so in reality my score doesn't matter. That revelation offered great relief, such that I believe I performed better purely because I was relaxed. All in all, I think I did very well. I'll probably talk about it in July when scores come out.

To what do I owe my success? Definitely these things right here. And I'm only partially joking. I'll explain in a minute. First, let's identify what exactly these are. They're basically "AP Amulets" given to us by a few teachers at my school, to remind us of subject matter pertaining to a specific test. Rather than use them for only the corresponding test, however, many students at my school (myself included) bring them along to all of our AP tests for luck. Let's discuss them one by one:

• The Calculus Rock: These rocks with smiley faces are given out by AP Calculus teachers here. Although the rock itself is not inherently connected to the calculus curriculum, it serves to remind us of our rock-solid preparation for the exam, and also feels very good to hold in your hand when you're feeling stressed. Plus, it reminds you to smile! I took calculus last year, but I still brought my rock to all of my tests this year. I got 5's on both of my tests last year with it in my pocket, so why mess with a good thing?
• The Statistics Dice: These were given out by my AP Statistics teacher. They are, quite obviously, symbolic of probability, but have a few other perks as well. Mostly when you finish a test section and have time left, you can entertain yourself. Also when a proctor walks by, you can roll a die and fill in the bubble corresponding to the result, which should make them question your sanity. (I'm serious, people actually did that, purely to mess with the proctors.) Because let's be honest, if you really don't know the answer, you should always choose B. Always.
• The Jesus Band-Aid: These are given out every year by my AP English teacher. Why? Well frankly it's a very, very long story that involves everything from Jesus action figures to pencil toppers (they really make those things?) and actually has nothing to do with anybody's religious affiliation. The short version is that this serves to remind us to recognize Christ figures in literature. And maybe to remind us to pray if the situation becomes dire.

There you have it. These are the amulets of AP power. While they don't have magical abilities or anything, I can attest to a legitimate placebo effect. Carrying something like this in your pocket can actually make you feel more confident, which translates to better performance. And most of my compatriots and I don't even bother to stow them in our pockets, preferring instead to keep them on the tables in front of us as a constant motivator. We're weird like that.

Right now, I'm just relishing the fact that I never have to take another AP test again. It's a glorious thing. As for my lucky charms? In all likelihood I'm still going to have them at my college finals. Just you wait.

Oh, and one final message to those stalwart souls in the IB program:
My condolences. Seriously.

Hic Manebimus Optime!