What Would You Do For $2250?

This is the story of how I wound up registered for social dance. First of all, I'd like to apologize for once again not posting on Friday, but I was lifeguarding a swim meet for a massive chunk of the day and didn't have enough time to make it happen. (I'll also point out that it was very strange for me not to be in the pool at this meet, but at least this way I get paid.)

Before we begin, I feel I must establish how much I dislike dancing. Which is quite a bit. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the only thing on this earth that makes me more uncomfortable than dancing is tomatoes. No, I will not explain my irrational loathing of tomatoes. Just use your imagination.

Now for the real story. One of the scholarships I'm on track to receive (amounting to about $2250 for this year) requires that I provide proof of registration in at least 15 credits of classes for my first semester. That doesn't seem too bad, or so I thought. At the time I learned of this requirement, I was registered for 14 credits, meaning I needed one more credit.

This is where things get complicated. In order to come up with one more credit, I would need to add a class, preferably one I might enjoy or that could fill a graduation requirement. I had one plan to add two student activities classes (that's code for fun classes), which are half a credit each. Unfortunately, freshmen register last, and literally all of the options I was remotely interested in already had very long waiting lists. End of Plan A.

Plan B: add a cool class, where I might actually learn something useful to my career aspirations without burying myself in homework. One in particular was Innovation Boot Camp, a one-credit class that only meets twice. That's it. Twice. I would be done before my other classes even got rolling, and the class description sounded right up my alley, including developing creative reasoning and inventing skills. I was ready to register for it...until I realized it was a 300-level class. Regardless of how hard it actually is, I don't think I want to be in it with a bunch of juniors and seniors who actually know what they're doing. I had similar results with the entrepreneurship lecture series class. End of Plan B.

Plan C: take an Honors program class. These classes fill two requirements, since they're essentially cognates of two subjects. I wanted to take one on the philosophy of mortality, because it sounded much better than a repeat of my high school biology class for the same requirement. Sadly, it conflicted with other classes in my schedule, some of which had no other sections available. End of Plan C.

Plan D: music! Music 101, or Music Appreciation as we call it at home, is a three-credit class that involves listening to lots of music, learning about different time periods in music history and some basics of musical genres. It wouldn't be anything I didn't learn in my years of piano theory or French horn, so it should be just a nice, easy opportunity to listen to music. And if I thought my schedule was too overloaded, I could postpone my Intro to Honors course (two credits) and still have the 15 I need for my scholarship. Sound too good to be true? It is. That class was full too. End of Plan D.

Plan E: take a writing class? I want to pursue a creative writing minor later in my collegiate education, and several writing classes would grant me useful knowledge as I edit my first novel and embark on several others. Guess what? They all have prerequisites, which as a freshman I haven't yet filled. I'll be back, cool writing classes. Just you wait.

This leaves us with Plan F. Have you guessed what it is? It's social dance. One credit. There's a reason why the men's sections of social dance never fill up. Why's that? Because most of us guys have a natural and instinctive fear of social dance. That's what it boils down to. We fear it. Being a swimmer doesn't help much, as our kind is notoriously uncoordinated in all things that involve being...on...land. Dancing takes place on land. That's bad.

But here I am. Having exhausted all alternatives, I am enrolled in social dance. Hooray for scholarship requirements. Of course, I suppose there are worse ways to get $2250.

Hic Manebimus Optime!